THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE... "Can I tell you something? You cannot separate one! How many know what I’m talking about? One is indivisible. If you have one + one… this is how the world thinks…you know, they say, Marriage is 50/50. And then you have somebody else tell you it’s 100/100. But that is still not true. It’s one, and one cannot be divided. But two… you used to be two… now you become one! You cannot separate yourself".Gary S Brooks, Apostle, TH.D
Leave to Cleave
So a man leaves and he joins himself to his wife. But we leave so we can cleave. We didn’t just leave for the sake of leaving. We leave so we can cleave to our spouses now in the marriage covenant. Do you know what the word joined means here in verse 31? It means to stick like glue. Well, you are stuck now! You see in the marriage covenant, you’re stuck! Thus, you had better go into this thing with your eyes wide open because the Lord hates divorce!
Yet hard hearts still exist today between married couples who are unhappy and are seeking to be divorced, but it was not so from the beginning of the creation. God can still heal their relationship, but if one spouse refuses to serve the Lord then let the other follow the Lord without compromise. Then the other spouse will need to come to a decision to either serve the Lord together in the marriage covenant, or leave. Then the remaining spouse has been called to peace and is not under bondage to that covenant any longer.
See, marriage has nothing to do with the world. God instituted marriage from the beginning as it is written in the book of Genesis. This is not the world’s way of doing things, and this is why I’m bringing this out today! I felt impressed by the Lord to bring this out, to say that this is about following God! A marriage covenant is for Christians! But, do you know what I am finding out? The divorce rate among Christians is now astronomical. It is ridiculous! I believe that this problem exists when we either do not understand or do not respect our covenant that we made with our spouse before the Lord, or we neglect or do not respect our covenant responsibilities in the marriage. This is so sad because it is the Lord’s covenant of marriage that establishes His way for the blessing and prosperity of our marriage relationships.
There is no other cause for marriage! If it’s not about you and her following God together as one, you’ve no business of getting together then because it’s going to be centered on something else, whether it’s going to be just a sexual relationship or what it can do for you socially or some other thing. This is the cause. It is a covenant relationship. It is a covenant agreement of marriage, and it is for the purpose of the Kingdom of God. It is for… if you get married, it should benefit you in your serving God. It is not wise to think about getting married if it is going to hinder you from serving God! Everybody say, “The Covenant of Marriage”.
She is Your Companion and the Wife of Your Covenant
She is you companion for your lifetime, the one you are knit together with for your fellowship. She is to be your best friend, and the one that you can be transparent with; naked and unashamed.
If you are going to be joined to your wife, you’re going to go beyond the relationship that you had with your father and mother. It is another relationship altogether now, and now you cleave to that relationship, you’re stuck like glue, and you’re obligated now! Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth (Mal 2:14)… thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. It’s a covenant, and when God makes covenant He doesn’t change His mind! How many parents would like to have their children understand what I am discussing today and not have to worry about them going into a relationship and have to say, “Well, I just hope it works out”? See, young people, when you go into stuff like this with your eyes wide open, you'll never have to worry about whether your husband is going to leave you, whether your wife is going to leave you, whether some way down the line there might be a divorce, whether your love will continue, or whatever the situation is! Your mind is made up! That’s love. That’s the beginning of it and you’re passionate towards it! Let the Lord be between you and you’ll never violate Him or your agreement of marriage, because He would then be the center of your marriage. And His grace, His power, and His love will keep you together as one!
One is Indivisible
(Eph. 5:31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Can I tell you something? You cannot separate one! How many know what I’m talking about? One is indivisible. If you have one + one… this is how the world thinks…you know, they say, Marriage is 50/50. And then you have somebody else tell you it’s 100/100. But that is still not true. It’s one, and one cannot be divided. But two… you used to be two… now you become one! You cannot separate yourself! Do you see how simple that is? If two become one, how can you separate yourself? If now you are head and body, then you’d have to separate your head from your body to be not one any more! When we go into the covenant of marriage with an understanding like that, there’s no division, there’s no separation, and there’s no question! Then for your household, divorce is not even part of your vocabulary! It’s non-existent! All that exists now is the oneness that you have. The Lord is between you and in you both! Now you would have to separate yourself from the will of the Lord to be separated from your spouse. (Eph 5:32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. This covenant of marriage is a great mystery. How many know that this has been a mystery, it’s been a well-kept secret? That’s what that means. It’s been a sacred and a guarded secret in Christ.
Reverence; Deferring to the Husband's Will
(Eph 5:33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Nevertheless… that’s a weak definition of the Greek word because it’s better defined as moreover. The Apostle Paul is summing it up as I’m summing it up right now too. Now I want to help the ladies with one more train of thought in this, and the people at my Church know that I defend the ladies, but I also stand as a man. Reverence…what’s that talking about? You see, because an unlearned husband will pull that wool over his wife’s eyes before she can blink! “Woman, you just get yourself back in line! You do as I tell you! I am king of my castle!”. If she wasn’t so fearful and in bondage, things would change in a flash, because God has called her to peace and not into relationship with a tyrant like you! Reverence means to honor, to respect or to defer to with feeling. To defer means that although I have a different way and think that we ought to do it like this, to defer means I’m going to submit to and agree with his way. That’s what it means to defer to, to reverence… to defer to another’s will.
Reverence Presupposes a Character Worthy of Honor and Respect
But listen now! Reverence presupposes that there is something there to which to defer to. Reverence presupposes that, in her eyes, her husband’s relationship with the Lord is righteous, and trustworthy, therefore she has no problem deferring her will to the will her husband! But when the husband has the mentality that he’s going to rule the roost, the wife really has a problem with deferring to that kind of an attitude. But when the man of God, her Head says, “Honey, I really feel that this is what the Lord wants us to do, please trust me”, and Honey has a different way, yet her conscience is not violated by her husband’s way, and now if by reverence she defers to her husband’s will, then this is pleasing to the Lord. Husbands also should remember how that the wisdom of God spoke to Abraham, when he could not see clearly because of his grief, and said, (Gen 21:12) … in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice. Remember also the words of Apostle Peter saying, (1 Pet 3:7) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Now if the wife is the weaker vessel, then the husband must be the weak vessel. They are joint heirs together in this life and they need each other.
Reverence the Lord
Many times it’s how we are in the Church, we think our way is right, when ought to be giving deference to the Lord! Do you see how that works out? And we say, “No way! This is the way grandpa did it and this is the way all my forefathers were like, and I’m not changing!” We ought to give deference to the Lord and reverence Him. To honor means to respect but it presupposes that there is something that’s already credible in the one to whom deference is being given. There is merit about them. Are you hearing what I’m talking about? There is a right character! There is a right spirit! Then you’ll have no problem with that.
If I asked the wives, they’d say, “Yes! Amen! If my husband were like that, I’d have no problem! I’d say, Yes Sir, we’ll go ahead and do that” … if the wives were wanting to follow the Lord also. But respect presupposes that there is character and conduct that is deserving of honor to reverence. So, it is how the husband should be towards his wife. He must show her a character that’s worthy to be honored, and that’s worthy to be respected, because reverence will presuppose that. We have no problem deferring to the Lord because we know He’s credible. We know that His thoughts are not always our thoughts and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We know that His ways are not always our ways and His ways higher are than our ways. So we say, “Yes, Sir” to Him, when our heart is established to reverence the Lord in His way. Let us also reverence Him in His marriage covenant.
In the marriage covenant the LORD must be between the two and in the two. Their agreement is in Christ and the two have become one by the miracle power of God that can turn the water of their natural relationship into the wine of a Spirit filled life, and with joy in their union. They have received the blessing of the Lord, which shall prosper their union that their relationship may reach its full potential in Christ. It is full of the grace of the Lord, and their love that they share is of God, for God is love. It is a covenant that is witnessed by the Lord, adding His agreement to theirs, and it is “until death do they part”. (Mat 19:6) Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Amen